The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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