Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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