Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
