Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
