Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
