The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
