Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
