I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
