my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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