found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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