That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
