I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
