so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
