he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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