As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
