Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
