I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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