i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
