apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
