You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
