Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
