he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
