You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
