I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
