I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
