Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he thought i was a dude.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
