Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
