Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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