Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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