well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sober January is a disaster.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
