Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How external is "for external use only"?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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