he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Soap is not a condiment
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
