In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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