I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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