you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
