I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
