More tranny stories later!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
