I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
