so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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