I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
