you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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