You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
