3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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