It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
