Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
