it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
