at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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