ya dads aren't the best wingmen
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
