you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
