i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
