ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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